Freakin’ Fashion

How do you feel about Fashion? Fascinated but from a safe distance? Keenly in the vanguard? Kid yourself it has no place in your sartorial choices? Overwhelmed? Underwhelmed?

Moving along the shelves from my pattern drafting books I pulled out ‘Fashion Details, 1,000 Ideas From Neckline to Waistline, Pockets to Pleats’ , a Rockport publication, dated 2011.

bookI was hoping for a flash of inspiration for a new dress , but finished up making a list of trends I can happily pass by.   Here it is in no particular  order.

Bondaged, straight jacketed, in a bit of a state.  Cui bono.

K

Post Apocalypse. Give me flower power over end times any day. P

Random Decoration, mixed metaphor, weird shit on your head.

J

Facial Obliteration. Identity crisis or bank job?

H

Crotch Candour . G

Three Hands. Party game, hold onto your canapé, turn sideways from the waist and grab a cocktail from the waiter’s tray. Double sided tape not allowed.F

Medical Experimentation.  Thermoregulation. The subject was kept warm as toast from the waist up. How does her body respond to being frozen south of the equator? Control group gets proper clothes.

E

Drab. Enough shapeless neutral already!

D

Pointless Iconaclasm  Dada has a lot to answer for.

C

Unrealistic Expectations.  Looks commanding in an etherial way from the front on impossibly tall, thin models who aren’t moving, smiling, coughing, eating, carrying three or four plastic bags of shopping, picking up a wriggling toddler clutching an ice cream.   Not all views are equal. Less designing than choosing. Reverse Darwinism.  Unnatural selection .

B

Underwear as Outerwear.  I’ve got nothing to wear.  Nothing! Be bold, just wear your big knickers. Put it in your diary.

Half a dress. That awkward moment when you realise you misread the back of the pattern envelope. Q

Have I missed a fashion faux pas? What’s your fashion nemesis? Would you cut the cutting edge design, or shred it for dog’s bed filler?

Lest you get the wrong impression, this book offers an organised photographic scramble through fashion details, many of which are more enviable, desirable, rip-offable than the above whinge would suggest. Its in the vein of the designer’s scrap book or pile of magazines with the dog-eared pages, but looks better on your coffee table. As well as snickering at the desperate fringe of fashion, you can pass a happy hour or two mining for gems.

All photos are from the above book, included for discussion purposes. Designers in order Nerea Lurgain, Julius, Malafacha, Elena Skakun,Diana Dorado,Harrihalim, Mal Aimée, J JS Lee, The Swedish School of Textiles, Mal Aimée, American Perez, Aganovich

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About jay

I design and draft patterns
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20 Responses to Freakin’ Fashion

  1. Definitely good for giggle, love it when they don’t pass the ‘could I pop to the shops in it’ test. S’interesting to see the wearable elements filter through to the high street/pattern books.

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    • Pella says:

      I suppose if you did pop to the shops in one of those get ups, there’s a good chance you’d be let to the front of the queue with your trolley.

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      • This is beyond giggle for me, much like the typical early morning coffee/tea spew. I so often look at fashion and ask myself, “Are you kidding??” And these poor(?) women have to wear this stuff. The cockhead and sanitary napkin holders were the best of all time.

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  2. nehmah says:

    One word? U-G-L-Y! nehmah

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  3. mrsmole says:

    OMG…is that girl in white “medical experimentation” wearing a maxi-pad? The male model just fits right in with the circus….clown for a day…what the hell is that blue thing hanging from his lower lip? That poor last gal with half and half fashion hanging off her…Lordie I do hope that there was plenty left to make your creative mind race around the coffee table!!!!! That bird head hat…and the woman with the table runner wrapped around her with the black hat…did she find this stuff in her dead granny’s trunk? Thank you for such a Friday wake-up call!!!!! Too awesome/awful!

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  4. Sofie says:

    Eeep! Great commentary! Really there was a time when, if you were that thin, you’d have to be admitted. No wonder they never smile. Go eat something!

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  5. Pella says:

    A decent breakfast instead of a dog’s dinner!

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  6. Sew2pro says:

    What a fun way to start the weekend.
    Love the commentary! I also love the furry white jacket. But that’s all, I promise.

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  7. prttynpnk says:

    Don’t think i’m not writing these designers down for a Wearable Wednesday- you’ve given me fodder for weeks!

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  8. Shel says:

    Ah, thank you for a well rounded belly laugh! Glad I wasn’t drinking any pop. : )
    Underwear as Outerwear..looks like she has a bodysuit and somehow forgot her skirt.

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  9. Good god what a selection! Thank goodness for a book otherwise full of inspiration and useful notions lol. I have to say that “fashion” as in the pics you posted above are more like modern art or architecture designed, I think, to poke you in the eye and cause a reaction. Period. Heaven help anyone who actually aspires to wear it.

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  10. Anita McAdam says:

    Great observations! 😉

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  11. G says:

    Trying not to lol cause I’m in the office. Great post!!

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